The Definition of Insanity
by vixangel
Summary: Ok probably been done before but Buffy and Angel have stayed in contact. What happens when Buffy stops hearing from Angel when he's at the bottom of the ocean! Better summary inside. M just in case ; x
1. Chapter 1

**A/N.. Hey guys, ok so I'm back with a little fic for you. This is just to say a big thank you to you all for reading 'Broken'. My first and original 'Marathon' fic! This one is gonna be a one-shot I'm thinking. It's been one of the things that has been floating around in my head for ages. No idea how it's going to turn out but we'll see. The writing style is completely different, I'm keeping it light (sort of) and adding a bit of humour here and there. It's just to get me back into writing really so don't lynch me for it ok lol. Shout out to my girl Jen and of course Rox and Summer and you other special ones who were there throughout....you know who you are! Much loves! I miss our chats girls so review bitches! hehe =D**

* * *

Buffy sat tapping her fingernails against her desk, the glaring light from her computer screen making her tired green eyes water slightly. Refreshing the screen one more time she leant back and stretched her aching back, long blonde hair falling down her shoulders.

'No New Messages'

Buffy let out a slight growl of frustration and turned the un-cooperative machine off. Her brow knitted and she stood to resume her earlier pacing, getting lost in her thoughts. The feelings she had been having for the past two weeks were making her wary, worried and probably some other descriptive 'w' words I can't think of right now.

Something was wrong. She knew it within every fibre of her being. For the last two weeks something had been off. It had taken a week for it to finally register in her mind but once it had, the pestering feeling wouldn't leave her alone.

_Angel_

The feelings wouldn't leave her alone because there was something wrong with Angel. Giving into her obviously deranged nature she resumed her seat at the computer, flicking it back on.

_What's the definition of insanity? Repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results._

Yet she sat, diligently waiting for it to load. A few taps of the keyboard and she had logged into her second e-mail account.

'No New Messages'

Refusing to let her tears of frustration fall, her eyes scanned the list of previously read emails.

_Inbox: _

angel_

angel_

angel_

The list went on but Buffy picked the very oldest message, double clicking and eagerly waiting for it to load. Her eyes scanned the near memorized mail, laughing at the basic structure and typos. Angel had not been computer friendly when they had started this form of communication.

After Buffy's visit to LA to follow Faith, the complete distance between her and Angel had just about killed her already battered heart. She was more devastated by the gaping abyss that had opened up between her and Angel than she was about Riley sleeping with Faith in her body. That still made her cringe, in fact the mere thought of having his hands on her skin at all made her cringe, and wonder what the hell she had been thinking taking her trip into dullsville.

Oh that's right, she hadn't been thinking. Her friends had been doing that for her.

Shaking her head at the mere notion that Riley could have possibly been able to replace Angel, she thought about the events that had led to this set-up. She had rung Angel the week after the whole Faith fiasco and had broken down on the phone, quickly arranging a place to meet, they had both sped to a spot between LA and Sunnydale.

"_I can't do this any more Angel. I can't carry on pretending everything's okay and that I'm not wondering what you're doing every second of every day"_

"_I know Buffy, I know. I have to physically stop myself coming back here everyday. Not knowing if you're alright"_

"_I'm not alright Angel. I'm not alright without you. I told you Always and I meant it"_

The meeting was emotional, bittersweet and just what they needed. How far apart they had grown by trying to survive the separation was almost as hard as seeing each other without being together.

A plan to stay in touch via e-mail and mobile phone was settled on. Buffy had a second phone as well as both having second e-mail accounts. On average they shared weekly phone-calls and the e-mails varied depending on whatever big-bad they were facing or how much they were struggling to cope.

Once her and Angel were communicating again, her and Riley never stood a chance and it didn't take long for Riley to notice. At first he had acted livid, wanting to head down to LA to confront Angel. Buffy had been having none of it and used a simple and effective action. She sat on him and pinned him down, she had asked him what was going on, why he was acting strangely. They had talked for hours, really talked like they hadn't before, mostly about Riley and the fact that he was gay. He had been battling in his own head for years and as soon as he started with the Initiative he knew he had to suppress thoughts and feelings and so he had started things with Buffy. He had heard the other guys mention her and decided to go for it.

To say Buffy had been stunned would have been an understatement but it had been the start of a beautiful friendship. He was the only one who knew about her continued communications with Angel and whilst he had his reservations, he kept her secret. Just as she kept his. They kept up the pretence of dating, especially for her friends and his Initiative team. It wasn't much of a hardship, he was the only one Buffy could be herself in front of and vice versa. She missed him now he had left, thankfully taking the initiative with him.

One wine-filled chat-fest in particular had made Buffy laugh, cry and cringe all in the space of ten minutes. Riley thought Angel was cute. Angel had spluttered out some words of discontent and then been speechless for a full five minutes when she told him. He had then preceded to argue about the fact that he was described as 'cute'.

"_Cute? He said I was cute? Not handsome or manly or I don't know, even hot? Or whatever it is you say nowadays?"_

"_Angel? Really that's the part you're focusing on? I just told you my boyfriend is gay and thinks the love of my life is cute?"_

"_What can I say? The ladies want me, the guys want me"._

Buffy had laughed so hard she fell off the bed. Now every time she spoke to Angel whilst Riley was there he went bright red and left the room. It was sweet in a disturbing kind of way.

Buffy pulled herself from her memories and clicked open the second to newest message. You could tell how much more at ease here, Angel was using a computer, he had the lingo, the gadgets and little emoticons down pat in this mail. Her eyes quickly skimmed over words that made her heart ache.

_I miss you._

_I love you._

_My life has meaning because you're in it._

_I wish I could hold you in my arms._

Blinking back tears she went back to select the most recent message. This was different in comparison to the last. It reflected his mood from their phone call the week previous to the mail. It was distant, distracted, like it was out of obligation. He said he had been feeling different towards Cordelia. Like something was trying to draw him to her. There was no 'I love you' or 'I miss you' in this mail. Just signed, as ever, '_Always, Angel'._

She resolutely refused to believe that he had replaced her with Cordelia, however it was the fear of that that had her waiting another two weeks for some form of contact from Angel.

* * *

I watched Buffy lay on her bed, staring blankly at the wall and sighed. My sister had been like this pretty much for the last week. She kept up the pre-tense when the others were around, getting up to get her to school, work and slaying but it was morose and robotic. I knew exactly why, it had been roughly a month since she had any form of contact with Angel and it was killing her.

I almost laughed when I thought of what Buffy would do if she knew I had looked through her room and computer. Really, didn't she know that was a little sisters job? For some reason I hadn't outed her to the Scoobies either. I'd always had a soft spot for Angel and a bit of hero worship for him. Plus it had been me who had heard Buffy cry herself to sleep night after night when he left, even when Riley came on the scene. My sister is my idle and I noticed the difference in her when she became happier and more of her old self. I noticed how her and Riley's hands separated as soon as they left our friends and I picked up on the subtle little digs about Riley's sexuality. I'm really not as naïve as they all think, in this case it works to my advantage.

And Ok yes, I might have done a little eavesdropping from time to time. It was getting ridiculous, Buffy's dreams were terrifying enough as it is but at the moment all I could here was her calling out for Angel, she knew he was in trouble and hurting and it was hurting her too.

Enough was enough.

* * *

"Buffy? BUFFY?" Dawn shouted at Buffy, breaking her stare as Buffy slowly turned her head towards her with a sigh.

"What is it Dawn?"

"For god sake, just go to L.A., find Angel and snap yourself out of this funk your in"

Buffy slowly got up from the bed to face Dawn. "You don't know what your talking about Dawn".

Dawn crossed her arms across her chest and quirked her eyebrow in a very Buffy-esque way. "Oh really? So I Don't know that you and Riley were pretty much always just friends because he decided to take a little visit to the sausage shop and I don't know that you and Angel have been calling and e-mailing for over a year and I don't know that you haven't heard from him in about a month?!"

Buffy stared at Dawn unblinkingly for a full minute in shock, her quick brain processing everything she just heard.

Dawn gave her a minute and then grew a little concerned. "Erm, Buffy? A-are you ok?"

"Did you….did you just say…a visit to the _sausage shop_?" Buffy spluttered out.

"Maybe" Dawn blushed and looked away briefly. "That's not the point, I always knew he wasn't for you. The fact is you need to go to L.A.".

"Wait a minute! You've been snooping through my stuff!"

"God Buffy, did you only just realise th-" Dawn was cut off as Buffy started heading towards her, she turned and broke out into a full run away from her and the deadly look on her face. "BUFFY! Mom, MOM, MOOOOM! Wait, god Buffy I'm sorry. I'm your little sister, it's what I do"

Buffy grabbed a hold of Dawn's arm and turned her round to face her. "Dawn I can't believe you would invade my privacy-"

"He could be in trouble Buffy"

Dawns softly spoken words stopped Buffy's rant and the energy seemed to drain right out of her. "I know. I can feel it, there's something wrong but I don't know what. I'm dreaming of him but it's dark and I can't find him. I'm calling out to him Dawn and I just can't see him" Dawn grabbed Buffy into a hug and let her sister cry.

"Don't let the others hold you back Buffy, or your insecurities. He loves you and you love him. That's all that matters. He's in trouble and you're hurting him and you by not going to him"

"What about Cordelia?"

"What about that bitch?"

"Dawn!"

"Sorry, it's just, come on Buffy. She can't have changed that much, not really. He's lonely, he's missing you and she's the only link to you he has. He's a 150 year old vampire Buffy not a 22 year old boy. Are you really gonna let Queen blah take your man? Muscle in on the love of _your_ life! And whilst we're at it, why does he get to decide that you can't be together. The guy was bought back from hell and he can't find the key to a little curse? Pfft, screams insecurities and suffering complex to me".

"Dawn!"

"What?!"

"When did you get to be so smart and grown up?". Buffy grabbed a bag and started packing clothes.

Dawn shrugged and laughed. "Must run in the family". As Buffy grabbed a second bag for weapons Dawn shoved some slightly nicer…provocative clothing in the first bag….Just in case.

Both the Summer's girls looked up in shock at a cough from the doorway.

"Mom" Buffy managed to squeak out. Joyce stepped into the room, hiding her smile at the matching look of shock and worry on both her daughter's faces. She decided to leave out just how much she had heard.

"Don't let the others stop you from going for what you want Buffy. You don't owe them anything and they can make their own decisions and mistakes but not yours. You're the slayer for crying out loud, you save the world weekly, tell them to back off".

"Yeh, go Mom!" Dawn laughed out and went to hug the eldest Summers. Joyce took Buffy's hand and dropped her car keys in before squeezing them warmly.

"I love you Buffy, you have put everyone else before you for so long, it's time to fight for what you want. You wouldn't be you if you didn't go and try and help him. He would do the same for you and I would be disappointed if you don't go. You claim to love this man Buffy, go prove it and prove me wrong that he's not right for you. I miss my daughter".

The family shared a long hug before Buffy smiled and bolted down the stairs. Grabbing her jacket she headed out the front door.

And crashed straight into Xander.

"Geez Buff, what's the rush? Or did you just want to get up close and personal with the Xan man?"

"Really not, I'm in a hurry Xander, I've gotta be somewhere. What did you want?"

"Nothing major, no wigging. Just to hang out, I'll come with you". He went to walk to the passenger side.

"No! Sorry I mean, you can't Xander, you have work tomorrow and I don't know when I'll be back" Buffy bit her lip nervously then started a mantra in her head. _You're the slayer, be strong, be strong._

"What? Well where are you going? What about your duties? Weren't you going to ask one of us first?"

"Ask? Ask one of you? One of _you? _Are you kidding me Xander? Are you my mother? Or my asshole of a Father? No! Just an asshole. And as for my duties, I'm gonna give Spike a call. He seems to be one of the only ones I can trust around here at the moment. What does that tell you?"

"That you hang around with idiots pet, that's what" Spike tried not to let it show how Buffy's words effected him and strolled up to the argument.

"Spike? What are you doing here?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"Just fancied a stroll and thought I felt like you might need a little help"…And a little phone call from Dawn might have had something to do with it.

"Right, well anyway, I'm going out of town for a few days. I need to you keep an eye on things, especially Dawn. Not too close an eye though Spike, we had this conversation. 18 remember, 18" Buffy swung herself into the car with a hard look at Spike.

"I know I know, god Blondie you do me head in. Say hi to the old man for me will ya?"

Xander had stood completely confused. "Will someone please tell me what's going on?" he snapped out.

"I've got something I should have done a long time ago, it doesn't concern you and Spike is covering me here. It's not like there had always been a slayer here you know. I love you, you're my friend but that's it. You can't control my life and I make my own decisions. If you don't support me or can't then you're not the friend you should be. Spike and Dawn and even my Mom will fill you in on the rest. I might see you soon but I'm not holding my breathe, I've tried and tried to get through to you and nothing changes. Do you know what the definition of insanity is?".

Buffy backed out the driveway, took one last glance back and gunned the engine.

She was going to get Angel.

* * *

_**Aghhhh ok ok it somehow became a 2-shot????? don't hurt me. I don't know if I like this fic or not....let me know if I should carry on or if I've lost my touch :( **_

**_I have to say tho it is good to be writing again, I've missed it, and it's nice to keep the Angel/Buffy dream alive! All these new pop culture vampire impersonators drowning out the genious that is BtVS is a little heartbreaking. Not mentioning anynames who have suddenly switched to the darkside....lets just say it rhymes with Benna!! Lol jokes hun I love ya. If any of you are interested in The Vampire Diaries, angelsblueeyed girl has a fantastic Damon/Elena story going that you should check out. I've only seen one episode of the show and thought it was pants, I do however love the Damon/Elena storyline and think Damon is sexy as hell! Anyway, getting off track. As always check my profile for amazing authors._**

**_And review guys! You know we love you for it xxxxxxxxxxxx_**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Yes I know it's been a long time, yes I know I've been terrible. But if you remember, you like me really so please forgive me? I've had a crappy time recently and I've managed to try and get back into writing to help get away from it all a bit. Big shout out to my girl Jenna, hope you're recovering ok babe! Ok so enjoy. **

For a whole week Buffy had sat and watched the comings and goings of the Hyperion with disdain as well as looking for Angel. She tried to ignore the heartache at Angel living in a place she didn't know, of the ease Cordelia moved around in it. She was almost ashamed of the fact she had snuck in to Angel's rooms, laid on his bed and perhaps peeked at a few of his things…

Cordelia acted the lady of the house, bossing the others round. Buffy watched as after each vision she sent them off, staying behind claiming headaches and heart ache over Angel, and then sneaking off to go shopping or a bubble bath or fawning over the youngest member of the group.

Buffy didn't personally know this one but had a funny feeling in her gut when she looked at him. He acted like he was hiding something, made the rest of the group nervous and grated on her a little because he was Darla's son. Oh yeah, that one had been a real kick in the gut. Angel had promised it was where he was struggling being without her and was at an all time low. She couldn't exactly get annoyed, she did the same with Riley. She was strangely drawn to him though and found herself watching him more than the others. The guilty look on his face bugged her and occasionally she felt like he was looking right at her, in her hiding spot.

She did notice the absence of Wes, it was clear the team was falling apart and not working together. She slowly adapted her routine to watching Wes and it seemed he was on the same track as her. She managed to pick up the location Angel was last meant to have been and resolutely ignored the fact that he was meant to be meeting Cordy and her victim act of getting 'stood up' by him. Instead she focused on the stubble-faced man coming her direction.

"Wes, looking good, the whole homeless look is really working for ya" Buffy pulled away from the wall and walked over to Wes, grabbing the other arm of the red headed woman he was dragging along with him.

"Get your hands off me Bitch!". Buffy stepped back slightly and raised her brow, she looked between the woman and Wes.

"Friend of yours?"

"Buffy. Erm, no not exactly, she's information, about…about. Look I don't know what you've heard.." Wes coughed nervously and took in the strong woman in front of him. He was struggling to hold on to Justine whereas Buffy was calmly holding her arm.

"So she has no manners and information about Angel's disappearance?" Buffy questioned.

Justine chose that moment to yank her arm away from Wes and then turned in shock to Buffy when she was unable to move. "What the f-…"

Justine's word was cut off as Buffy delivered a sharp punch to her jaw, knocking her out.

"She's got a dirty mouth". Buffy ignored the shocked look on Wes' face and heaved Justine's weight towards her to let Wes pass. "After you".

Wes walked into his apartment, in slight shock and wonder at the changes in the young blonde woman behind him.

"So. Talk Wes". Justine had been locked in the cupboard by Buffy whilst Wes had got them drinks. They had been sitting absorbing the changes in each other in silence for a few minutes until Buffy had finally had enough.

"I don't know how much you've heard Buffy but I've been away from Angel Investigations for a while now-"

"I know what you did Wes"

Wes shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat. "Yes, well, It can't be undone. I do however, owe Angel and that lot wouldn't know where to find bacon in a butchers shop, so I started asking around, using some contacts and some common sense"

"I need to find him Wes, I can feel him hurting, calling. What have you found?" Buffy sat forward, alert and awaiting the break she had been waiting for.

With a sigh, Wes looked her in the eye. "On first glance he just up and disappeared, now you know Angel better than me but even I know he wouldn't do that. I also believe _you_ would know if he was dust".

Buffy flinched at that possibility and the cold manner in Wes' tone, then looked up. "_Me_?" Buffy knew she would feel it the very second Angel no longer existed but she didn't think the others believed in their bond, least of all Angel's crew.

"Yes you Buffy. Always you. You're both foolish to presume otherwise. Anyway, moving on and skipping the details, Justine and Holtz set it up to look like Angel had killed Holtz and would send Conner on a revenge mission". Wes looked at the slayer's drawn features, she looked tired and worn out yet still had that bone deep strength and courage keeping her sitting tall and alert. He used to find it admirable before he became too cynical and jaded for it to effect him. He decided to block out the spark of recognition those qualities bought him, to block out the ache to once again be on the right path, helping people the right way as was his naïve dream where good beats evil and there were no grey areas.

"So as Conner is worse than your typical hormonally imbalanced misguided delinquent youth, you went and found the trashy skank now locked in your cupboard?"

"Precisely". Wes saw the gleam come into Buffy's eyes and felt somewhat akin to her as he noticed a slight darkness surrounding her, knowing that to do her job, she had no choice but to accept it was part of her. If Angel was too stupid to realise that Buffy couldn't have a life of sunshine and picnic's, he would damn well help Buffy convince him otherwise. "She's going to be out for a while Buffy, why don't you get some rest and when she's awake, we'll get the information".

Buffy nodded and got comfortable in the chair, taking one last check around the room, she closed her eyes.

She dreamed of darkness surrounding her, madness covering her mind and Angel calling for her, begging for help. Every time she tried to reach him he just slipped away and she was stood staring face to face with Connor. Her arms would be pinned to her sides and no matter how hard she struggled, she couldn't get free and couldn't see through the pitch black.

Buffy jerked awake as someone touched her arm, within a second her hand was clamped round the ex-watchers neck, holding him back. "Wes?" She released her grip and let out a breath. "Sorry"

"You were struggling in your sleep, I just wanted to check you were ok".

"Thanks, I'm just restless, I think I'll walk for a bit, call my cell if she wakes up before I get back" Buffy jotted her cell number down and headed out the door.

…

Buffy wrapped her arms around her middle and stared at the ocean. She knew that somewhere along here is where Angel had gone missing, she would have known without being told. Her feet bought her here every time she took a break from watching the others or finding information. She shook the hair out of her face and released a long breath. If she closed her eyes she could almost feel Angel near, reaching out to her.

It broke her heart that little bit more that he was still suffering and she hadn't saved him yet. Enough was enough.

"Alright kid, I'm sick of the games, show yourself and lets talk like adults shall we?" Buffy spoke without turning round. Waiting a minute and not getting a reply she huffed in annoyance. Spinning round she flew to the hiding place of her observer.

"Look Conner, I'm trying to be nice here but you've been making it really difficult. I know you've been following me and I thought I'd cut you some slack, you've been through a lot" Buffy had to pause mid speech to grab Conner's arm before he ran away, his startled blue eyes met her matching ones when he couldn't pull away.

"What are you?"

"Ouch, geez, couldn't have been a little more subtle with that? Aren't you human with a bit of extra mojo thrown in?" Buffy pulled him along to a bench. She knew the only reason he was moving without a fight was down to shock.

"Don't touch me you filthy demon"

"Filthy? Demon? Ok I haven't slept for a while, I know I'm not gonna win any beauty pageants but cut a gal some slack why don't you. As for demon? Are you kidding me? Do I look like I have horns or a tail?" Buffy arched her brow and crossed her arms waiting for an answer.

Conner gave her a quick look over, pausing slightly at her chest, nicely enhanced with her arms crossed, blushed bright red and stuttered out a "no".

"Now I'm Buffy and I've got a little story for you Conner. I need you to sit and listen to it. Is that OK? It's about your father"

"Holtz was my father and he is dead thanks to that bloodsucker" Conner's snappy retort was almost automatic.

"Look Conner, I know you're angry, I know you're confused and hate the world right now, I mean why should all this have happened to you? I don't blame you. I used to ask myself that question everyday" Buffy sighed and leant back, her tiredness showing on her for the first time.

Conner notices this and tested the grip she had on his wrist. Without even turning towards him Buffy smiled slightly and arched her brow. "You aren't going anywhere Conner. You can try and fight me but I'll win and you'll be embarrassed and we'll have to start from square one again so lets just skip it yes?"

"Stop using my name like you know me" Conner felt he had to throw one last shot out there before settling himself back. He found himself intrigued by the blond in front of him. No doubt she was beautiful, but he didn't see her like that per se, ignoring his slight perve from a few minutes before of course. For some reason he felt a connection to her, it made him calm, willing to listen and not to try and fight his way out. He wasn't sure if he liked it but he was so tried of everything he couldn't find the will to try and leave. "So what happened to you that was so bad?"

"I was called as a vampire slayer"

"A what?"

"Oh where's Giles when you need him" Buffy muttered. "Ok, incredibly long story short? One girl in each generation is chosen and has the strength, speed and skill to kill vampires. She fights till she dies and another one is called. I answered that call when I was 15, watched my first watcher die, got kicked out of school for setting fire to the gym to kill all the vampires, moved school to the sunny hell mouth, Enter years of fighting for my life and to save the world on an almost nightly battle. Oh and lets not forget, the dying part, that's the best bit. It was prophesised I would die by the hands of this ugly ass vampire, and I did, but I got over it and sent his evil ass back to hell!"

Conner stared and blinked. "Erm, OK yeh that's pretty bad I guess"

I don't know if it was all bad. I wouldn't have met Angel without it and that wasn't _all_ bad" Buffy tightened her grip in warning at Conner's disbelieving snort. "Conner, I'm going to tell you this once and I want you to listen for once. I don't know you yet and I have no reason to lie to you. You might not agree with what I say at the moment, but remember it and think about it, OK?"

Conner regarded her for a minute and noted the seriousness on her face. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to like all of what he was about to hear but looking at the strong woman beside him, he was finally ready to hear it. He nodded, almost unnoticeably.

"Angelus was the worst kind of vampire you can imagine. He enjoyed his kills and had fun with his prey. He would torture people physically and emotionally and then move on like it was nothing"

"Not really fighting his corner here Buffy" Conner all but sneered.

"I said _Angelus_. Now some of this Angel should probably tell you himself but I'm kind of pressed for his company right now". Buffy noticed Conner's awkward shift and had to force herself to be patient. "Liam, which was Angelus before Darla sired him".

"You don't need to bring my mother into this"

"I'm not exactly, that was her only mention. Trust me, I don't want to being her into anything! Now, Liam was a spoilt brat who couldn't be bothered to work a days work in his life, drinking and whoring around. Now do any of these descriptions sound remotely like Angel? At all?"

"No" Was almost torn from Conner in his reluctance to answer.

"Exactly. When Angelus decided to feed on a gypsy girl, they wanted revenge and cursed his soul back to his body. Now This pure soul that wasn't even there! Was seeing all these terrible things that it's body had done when it was taken over by a demon. Because this soul is beautiful, it blamed itself. Do you get it Conner. Angel wasn't even there when these things happened, he had no control. But when he relived them in his mind, he shouldered the guilt and has been paying the price ever since. He fights and sacrifices everything to try and do good and make up for the evil he didn't even create"

"How do you see him like that. How do you have so much faith in him, he's a vampire"

"A vampire who denies his very nature to do the right thing. Denies the instinct to hunt and kill, to instead fight for people, to save people".

"But, you're the vampire slayer and you sound like you're in love with a vampire!"

"I am"

To say Conner was shocked would be an understatement.

"Let me tell you another story hmm?"

Buffy sat back and began telling Conner the entire history of her and Angel. Well not the _entire_ history…some things were better left unsaid to a young boy! Whilst she was talking she was searching for signs of Angel in Conner's face. He had Angel's brooding forehead and strong features but there was a softness to him that didn't match up with Angel or Darla. Buffy pushed aside the flash of jealously at the thought of them procreating together. She once again concentrated on the story as her emotions got the better of her and tears slid down her cheeks. She went through their meeting, falling in love, glossed over her birthday, Angelus, Angel leaving and their contact. She left nothing out and her hand on his arm had turned from keeping him still to holding his hand for comfort.

"So you see Conner, I need to find him. I love him. I need to save him like he's saved me so many times".

"Wow. That's a lot to process. Buffy, you don't know what I've done"

" Conner I know you had a part in it, I'm not stupid but I also know a bit about what you were raised up to believe in. If you truly want to change and be the man I know you could be, the way Angel has spoken about you, then start now. Don't get sucked under any more. Not for me or Angel, but for you. Be better than all this anger Conner. Angel would never hold this against you. I know you had something to do with his disappearing and at first I wanted to hurt you but I understand. Now, you need to make a choice".

They sat in silence for nearly half an hour. Conner's mind was screaming at him from different sides, Holtz' voice on one side, Buffy's in another. In the end he mentally shouted them to both stop. It was time to listen to himself.

"I'm doing this for you Buffy. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him"

"Just let yourself Conner, he's such an easy man to love. You realise he would lay down his life for you in a second right? He would take every ounce of pain that you feel away from you and take it on himself if he could"

Conner screwed his eyes shut. He knew what he was being told. He just didn't understand it. "You don't know what I've done Buffy. Why? After everything".

"Because he doesn't feel like he deserves you or happiness or to feel loved. I know a lot of what you've done Conner, Angel told me and he doesn't blame you or think any less of you or love you any less. That's what Father's do. So why don't you tell me what you think you've done that's unforgivable?"

"I don't know if I can. You really love him and if I tell you, you'll get mad and turn against me like everyone else".

"Conner. I know you have something to do with Angel disappearing and I would gather that a woman named Justine had something to do with it".

Conner's head shot up and he narrowed his eyes at Buffy. "What did you say?"

"Look I'm gonna cut the crap OK, you are old enough to deal with this like an adult now. Let me tell you straight, again, I won't lie to you. Holtz set it up to look like Angel killed him. It wasn't, Angel just found him. I would gather it was another vampire or even Justine that did the dead. Think about it, it's the ultimate revenge for Holtz. To take Angel's son away from him, like Angelus did to Holtz. He didn't get the distinction either".

"NO! He wouldn't do that, he loved me!"

"Did he Conner? I've no doubt probably in his own way he grew to, but it didn't start like that Conner. He kidnapped you from a man that loved you beyond reason, that would have done everything in his power to make sure you were happy and didn't feel one second of pain. He took you to some hellish place where you had to fight for your life! Now stop being stupid, it doesn't suit you".

"Fine you want to know what we did? We sunk him! Right there in the ocean!"

"What? Conner, how?"

Conner exhaled and ran his hands through his hair. "We locked him in a steel box, sailed out and dropped him in the ocean. She told me to do it, she said it was revenge, it was deserved. Buffy I don't know what to think".

"I know. Look I'm trying to trust you, and I'm sure I'll get there. I'll help you with the others but for now, you need to sit down and be quiet. You don't know what you've done"

"Buffy, I'm sorry" Conner hung his head as Buffy turned away from him, he stole her glance her way as she pulled out a cell phone and started dialling.

"Wes? I need a boat"

**A/N: Ok guys, here we go! Finally an update! I'd like to send you massive apologies for two things. Firstly because of the delay, secondly for the awfulness of this chapter lol. I've had so much go on in real life with travelling, family, work and getting my heart broken that writing has been on a back burner and my musie effed of and left me a long time ago lol. But, it's starting to come back so bare with me! I'll never leave a story unfinished, so please review and help me get back on track and THANK YOU so much for reading and sticking with me. For those of you that haven't read it, I've got a monster of a fic called 'Broken' that is already finished. Its 36 chapters tho so beware lol, it's quite a long read….but much better than this fic lol (promise!) **

**As usual, check out my fave authors and stories for some AWESOME stories xx**


	3. Chapter 3

"Wes? I need a boat."

…...

Buffy ignored the tiredness overtaking her body and squared her shoulders. Her sunken eyes looked out into the stretch of ocean, not seeing the potential wonder and beauty of it, but instead seeing the prison that was hiding her soul mate.

Wes cleared his throat and checked his watch for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. "Buffy, we might have to give up till tomorrow night, sunrise is about an hour and we can't-"

"Wes we have been looking for three days, we've marked off nearly every area in the grid from what Conner and that Skank have told us, I know we're close" _I can feel him._ Buffy added the last part silently to herself. She could feel the pain and desperation coming from Angel as if it was her own and the longer it took to find him, the worse she felt. The had pulled up chunks of wood and rubbish but not the tomb that held Angel. It hard been hard, gruelling and a waiting game which hadn't been helped by Justine's unwanted comments or Conner's often sullenness. They had taken to leaving Justine locked in the cupboard in Wes' apartment.

Buffy slid her eyes over to the boy. She couldn't help but feel for him and what he had been through. The last few days he had taken orders and followed through on the search, sometimes even quizzing Buffy on her fights and demons, although he would tense up when Angel happened to be mentioned. He didn't speak to Wes and had completely ignored Justine.

"Buffy?"

"Yeh Conner?" They were both standing at the back of the ship, side by side looking out.

"Do you hate me?" Conner had had this painful feeling in his stomach ever since he had truly listened to Buffy and let her words sink in. As soon as he had started to trust her, and therefore trust what she said, he had been feeling unbalanced which had only worsened to an aching pain in his chest. He couldn't work out why he trusted her but he couldn't fight it either.

"I don't hate you Conner. Why would you think that?" Buffy felt protective over Conner, whether it was an extension from Angel or what he had been through she didn't know but she would help him however and whenever she could.

"Because of what I did to him. I still don't trust him, I don't even know what to believe or what to think anymore".

"Conner you listen to me. None of this is your fault. You were ripped from a father that loved you and raised by another in a hell dimension, fighting for your life on a daily basis. You were bought up hearing stories and lies about Angel by a man you loved, trusted and thought had kept you safe and loved you in return. To then find out differently? To find out that what you thought was the truth, was actually the lie? That's a hard thing for anyone to go through. You've had to reassess everything with no help other than from people trying to use you. I don't hate you, Angel doesn't hate you". Buffy placed her hand briefly over Conner's, once again ignoring the slight warm buzz she constantly got when she happened to touch him. She shook it off as him being Angel's son and hoped to god that he didn't feel anything and start thinking it's something it's not…

"You don't know that, not after this. He gave me chance after chance Buffy. You should have heard what I said to him. Plus I think I pissed him off about Cordelia too"

"Cordelia? Why?" Buffy tried not to be overly eager but it's something she had been wondering about too.

"Because he can't see what's right in front of his face. I see things, I…lurk occasionally" Conner looked sideways at Buffy but just smirked when she rolled her eyes. "I can sense the magic or something from her and her space but I can't work it out. I was bought up sensing evil and danger and I'm always on guard around her. Angel never really used to notice her much, obviously she was his friend but he preferred being alone when he could or on his computer- which by the way, freaks me out to see a vampire using a laptop!"

"Conner…stick to the story" Buffy was tense waiting to hear the rest, although smiled at the image of Angel sitting in the dark, two finger typing on his computer.

"Sorry, yeah so anyway, about a month ago, things start to change, he's looking at her a bit differently, standing a bit closer, eye-locks, you know the whole nine yards. When I was locking him in the box, I tried to tell him at least he was in love with someone evil that matched him, even if it was by magic. He argued that there was no magic and she wasn't evil and that I wouldn't know what love was if it punched me in the face".

"So you think there is a spell going on?" Buffy ignored the ache at the possibility of Angel and Cordelia, she had been doing that since things started to get weird.

"Definitely. Besides, no way would he pick that skank over you Buffy".

"Thanks Conner" _But I'm not so sure anymore._

"You don't believe me. I don't blame you, I wouldn't trust me either" Conner was dejected again, he felt torn and confused but it eased when he was talking to Buffy like this, it felt like she actually cared.

"Trust is earned, not just freely given Conner and for what it's worth, what you're doing now? This is earning my trust."

"What about his" Conner nodded towards the ocean.

"Your Dad? He's a forgiving person. He'll come around. Don't you forget though, he's been through a lot down there and we don't know what his frame of mind is so you ignore anything he says to you at first until we've had a chance to feed him and make sure he's ok. You hear me? You ignore it".

"Doesn't sound too promising but I'll try".

"Buffy!" They both swung round to look at Wes. It was time to get to work. They headed up towards Wes and looked at the map.

"Ok the scanners have found something here, we're going to drop the net and hopefully catch a fish" Wes looked at Buffy and Conner. They were staring at him with a mixture of disbelief and horror. "Ok we're going to pull up whatever this is and hope it's Angel?"

"Jesus Wes, here I was thinking you had turned all rugged and cool but that inner geek watcher is just begging to come out" Buffy joked to ignore the pounding in her heart. _This was it. _

_..._

20 minutes later Buffy was fidgeting as the noisy machinery pulled what she was sure, was the metal box encasing Angel. She could feel him getting closer.

Conner had shut his emotions off and was standing by the controls with his arms defensively crossed over his chest.

"Conner? If this is him I want you to promise me you won't interfere. Whatever happens you stay over there and listen to Wesley. Do you understand? Do you promise me?"

"What's going to happen Buffy?"

"Just promise you'll leave me to do whatever I have to and know that I'll be okay and all I want is for your Dad to be okay. Just promise you'll stay back alright?"

"Fine, fine, I promise". The box broke the surface and Conner shuddered. "That's him"

Buffy didn't need to be told, she could barely stand as Wes bought the lever round. Time seemed to slow as it made it's way to the deck. Wes started the motor and they headed for shore. As soon as it was down Buffy sprung into action trying to pry the lid off.

"It's welded" Conner said quietly, ignoring Buffy's frantic movements, taking over from Wes to guide the boat back.

Buffy wiped the dirt off the glass and gasped in shock as she looked through at Angel's pale cracked face. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and Buffy mentally sighed as she could clearly see his soul. The brief reprieve was ripped away as Angel started struggling, madness and confusion clouding his previously soft eyes.

Buffy took a step back and gripped the lip. "Step back Wes"

Wes peered through the window, Angel had stopped struggling but appeared to be in anguish. "I think he could believe he is dreaming Buffy. Hallucinations are common in starving vampires. Be careful."

"Step. Back. Wes"

Even Conner took a step back at Buffy's tone. And then another as he watched her wrench the lid from the box.

Buffy shut the others out as she ran her eyes over his body, he was frail, cracked and ashen. But alive.

"Angel?"

Angel squeezed his eyes shut tighter. The hallucinations, which had previously been a blessing had turned into torture. He was so close and the it was ripped violently away from him time and time again. He dreamt of his love, of them being together, of the day that wasn't, of reconciliation over and over then it was cruelly taken from him. Why would this time be any different? He would rather be dead.

"Angel? It's Buffy. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner. I'm going to make it better though okay, I need you to listen to me. It's going to be okay" Buffy grabbed one of the bags of blood they had ready and put it to Angel's mouth. He didn't move. Buffy sighed frustratingly and tore a small hole in the edge, wafting the smell under his nose. Suddenly Angel sunk his fangs in the bag, draining it in seconds. Buffy kept up the supply until all the bags were gone.

"It's not enough" She hadn't thought it would be. She knew what he needed but couldn't be bothered with the arguments so had kept it to herself. His cracked skin had lessened but other than whimpers and mumbles of it not being real, he was still unresponsive. "Conner, remember what I said about not interfering? Well this is the time to honour that promise. I know what I'm doing" With that, Buffy ripped her sleeve and stuck her wrist to Angel's mouth, using his own fang to pierce the skin.

Instantaneously Angel tasted the strength and power of Buffy's blood, it surged through him and he drew deeply on the source. His clouded mind was sending him mixed signals, half telling him that he should carry on, it was a dream and wouldn't hurt anyone. The other half was rapidly noticing something different this time. That he shouldn't be doing this. After a few more seconds coherence won out and he yanked his arm from the restraint and pulled Buffy's arm away from him. Tugging himself free of the other restraints he caught Buffy's unconscious form just as it began to fall. Sensing a threat he turned and growled at the two approaching humans. He was in full vamp face with blood trickling down his chin but he didn't care. "Back off".

"Angel we want to help" Wes put his hands up to show no threat but stopped advancing.

"What did you do to her? Did you kill her?" Conner was angry and was moving towards Angel. Wes gripped his shoulder telling him to stop.

"She's alive. I don't want to see either of you. Don't follow me boy!" With that Angel jumped over the side of the boat, onto the beach where they had landed, taking off into the night.

He ran through the alleys until he reached his destination. The original Angel Investigations offices. He had re-built the downstairs, needed somewhere to go as well as not wanting to lose the memories he and Buffy had created there, even if he was the only one to remember. The constant thump of her heartbeat kept him going until he finally collapsed on the bed, wrapping himself around her form protectively and reassuringly and dropping into a restless sleep himself.

...

A while later Buffy's stirring wakes Angel from his sleep.

"Buffy?" He goes to move away but she grips him tight, his weakened mind and body can't find the will to move so he settles back into her warmth.

"Angel are you okay? God what must that have been like?" Buffy gripped him almost painfully. "Conner told me what happened. Angel I'm so sorry I couldn't find you. I could feel you calling out for me, in pain". Buffy dipped her head in embarrassment, Angel had tried to pull away and she had help onto him like she had some right. She tried to pull away but he didn't move. She was too tired to worry about it now so decided to just go with it.

"It's not your fault Buffy, I can't believe I drank from you. I swore I would never do that again. I thought I was dreaming when I heard your voice but you were there, you found me. I'm so sorry my love. About everything. I don't know what was going on before but I felt like I had no control over myself…with Cordelia. It wasn't till I was losing my mind that I felt like myself again. The minute I tasted your blood it all fell back into place. I'm still so sorry, I wish you hadn't done it."

"Angel, I would do it again in a heart beat to save you. Besides I didn't exactly give you a choice". Buffy glanced away, looking down, suddenly finding the bed sheet extremely interesting. "So you and Cordelia?"

"Buffy there is no me and Cordelia, I don't know what happened. After a hundred years in hell it was still you. A few years in LA isn't going to change things. I love you Buffy".

Buffy wiped the tear from her face and let out a mental sigh of relief. "It's always been you Angel, I love you too".

Angel squeezed her to him, placing a kiss on her forehead. He was still weak and had a lot to sort out in his head but for now, he held his reason for existence close and drifted off to sleep with her.

* * *

Two hours later he was strolling through the Hyperion doors. He badly needed a shower and new clothes. He had hated leaving Buffy but he figured she needed her sleep after what he had done to her. Returning to his room felt strange, it was almost exactly as he left it but his mouth quirked up at the corner as he sensed Buffy lightly throughout the room. He took a quick shower and was just doing up the last button of his shirt when he turned around.

"Did you kill her?" Conner's angry voice rang out.

"After what you did, do you really think you're in the position to ask me questions? If I had killed her, part of that blame would fall on your shoulders kiddo. For the record, of course I didn't kill her, I love her. What do you care".

Conner took a deep breath, he knew Angel was mad and that he had every right to be. He was trying to listen to Buffy though and give him the benefit of the doubt. "Buffy is amazing. She really laid things on the line for me and actually took the time to listen".

"Hey, I tried to listen. I tried to be there for you but you wouldn't let me. Then you decided to make me a human…well, vampire submarine so guess what? Ding ding ding you're out of chances. Now get out of my house".

"What?"

"Leave. Go. I'm tired of forcing you to listen to me, of forcing you to be here. So I'm giving you what you want. Leave and I won't follow you and I won't try and 'get to know you' anymore" Angel grabbed some of his stuff and put them in a bag. He had been far too long away from Buffy now and he didn't want her waking up alone. He heard the door click and looked up to an empty room. With a decisive nod he swung his jacket on and followed his son out the door.

He had had a lot of time to think locked in that box. Too much time to think. He had to let Conner go and leave it up to him. It was hard but necessary. He had been through enough and was sick of being the pawn in everyone's game. Reaching the stairs to the lobby he paused to watch and listen to Gunn, Fred and Cordelia grill Wes.

"So you're saying you saw Angel, he's fine, he took off and you don't know where he is?" Gunn asked heatedly.

"Look, I've told you, he's alive he's safe, I think, and he'll come back when he's ready I'm sure"

"You think Wes?" Cordy screeched at him. " You think? We have been looking for him for months, going crazy wondering what has been going on and you just stroll in here after everything and say he's ok. You really expect us to believe that he picks you to go to and not me? Please!"

"I'm not lying Cordelia. Although I have been wondering something for a while. Angel is one of the powers that be best fighters now? One of their champions. Makes me wonder why they never sent you a vision of him. A little clue as to where he was? Nothing?"

"What are you talking about Wes? I haven't had any visions of Angel. I think I'm emotionally traumatised by his disappearance or something".

"Then it would benefit you for him to be back. If it were me I would have done anything in my power to find him, even if it meant leaving everything behind. At least if you cared for him how you say you do. I know someone else who would give up everything for him". Wes spoke calmly inspecting his hands, and waited for the explosion.

"Oh, really Wes, you're going to bring up that blonde skank now? When are you going to get it through to your thick head, Buffy is a loser and she and Angel are over. It's her job to save people but even if I had bothered to tell her Angel was missing, she wouldn't have left her precious new life to look for him. Not that she would have found him when we couldn't so I did Angel a favour. When he comes home we don't have to say that she was here and I don't have to wait months for him to get over his brood to get what I want".

Gunn and Fred looked at Cordy with their mouth open in shock, even Wes was a little taken aback by her response.

"Cordy, you didn't call Sunnydale and tell them about Angel? You said you had. What if they knew something?" Fred's voice shook but she was starting to see Cordelia in a whole new light.

"Well obviously they wouldn't have done because he was locked in a box in the bottom of the ocean!"

"I never told you that Cordelia" Wes spoke quietly as they all turned to look at her.

"What? Yes you did Wes".

"No I told you that I had seen Angel, spoke to him and I think he's ok. I never said where I saw him".

"He's right Cor, he just said he had spoken to Angel" Gunn tightened his grip on the Axe he had been cleaning. Disbelief crossing his features. "What's going on Cordelia?"

"How did you know that" Fred asked, stepping towards Gunn.

"I didn't, I guessed. I mean, I was just making it up for dramatic effect. You know me"

"Funny Cordy, because that's exactly where we found him"

"We? So you did find him. See you did tell us. So you have a new crew Wes? Leaving us behind and have a band of merry followers hanging on your every word like brainless idiots?" Cordy sneered at him, forcing herself not to wipe her sweaty hands and show her nervousness.

"I would say it was more the other way around. Besides, I doubt Buffy would appreciate being called a brainless idiot"

"BUFFY! Buffy? What is _she _doing here? How did she know? She can't be here, she can't be near him. Oh and now they're off alone together, that's gonna go down well Wes, lets all prepare to throw Angelus a big welcome home party shall we? THIS IS NOT HOW THE PLAN WAS SUPPOSED TO GO!"

Everyone took a step back as Cordy's eyes turned black and her body began to shake slightly.

Angel hopped over the banister to land between them. "So how was it supposed to go?"

"YOU! Why can't you just let that blonde bitch go?"

"Because I love her" Angel motioned for the other three to move back and then looked at Cordy- well at Cordelia's body. All the weird conflicting feelings he had felt last time he saw her had gone now though so the hold she had over him was gone. "So what do I call you 'coz I know for damn sure you're not Cordelia".

"AARRGGHH this vessel is useless now. Listening to you lot whine on and on about your pathetci lives and existance has been a chore let me tell you, I nearly offed myself just to get away from it. With all your pathetic drama and you _feelings_. God. Mortals are infuriating. Mind you bloodsucker, could you be more pathetic? Still, I'll be going now, it's a shame you would have to kill her to kill me isn't it?"

Wes stepped forward holding a book. "Not necessarily" He began chanting and hoped for the best.

Cordelia's body shook harder and let out a demonic screech as it rose into the air. Her arms were outstretched and her hair turned shock white. With a sudden bang and a flash of light everyone fell to the floor. Angel was up first and over to the body. Cordelia was lying their peacefully, looking like she was sleeping and Angel felt the pang of heartache for his friend.

"Wes, what was that?"

"Extraction. It was the only thing I could think of short notice. Depending on how long that thing was in their, depends on how much of Cordy is left. I would say she's in a coma but I don't know if she'll wake up Angel, I'm sorry"

Angel nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose. A trip to the powers was the last thing he wanted to do right now. Quickly scrawling a list of medical supplies he spoke to the others. "Gunn, Fred? Get her moved up to one of the rooms, not her own, then go to Lorne and get him to get the stuff on this list to us and tell him what's been going on".

"Erm, Angel man? We don't even know what's been going on. Good to have you back though" Gunn slapped him on the shoulder and Fred stepped in for a quick hug.

Ten minutes later Angel and Wes had given a quick run down of what had happened from each of their perspectives. Angel felt another burst of love for Buffy at what she had done to find him and hoped she hadn't woken up yet. He had left a note but would rather he was there. He was done being without her.

"This Buffy chick sounds pretty awesome"

"She is. Now Wes I need you to come with me. I'm going to see the powers to find out what's been going on with Cordy".

"What do we do if Connor shows up Angel?" Fred asked quietly.

"Depends what he's here for. He's not dangerous, you can talk to him if you want to, tell him what happened. Tell him I'll be a couple of hours so he can be gone before I get back". With that, he grabbed something from the cupboard and took off out the door leaving Wes near on jogging to keep up with him.

"Where are we going?"

"To get the mail"

* * *

Buffy tossed and turned in her sleep as she was hit by images in her head. They seemed so real. Angel in the sunlight. Angel eating ice-cream, eating ice-cream off of Angel, making love, his heartbeat. Giving it all back.

"I'll never forget!" Buffy shouted as she shot awake, sitting up quickly. She looked around her in confusion as the last few days came back to her. "What?" She recognised the apartment but felt a strange sense of deja-vu waking up alone here. She pulled Angel's sweater on over her head and slid out of bed. As she looked round the apartment she was hit again and again by the images from her dream. "Was it a dream?"

"No Buffy, it wasn't a dream. The selfless oaf really gave it all up"

Buffy swung round and dropped into a defensive position as she saw Cordelia sitting on the sofa filing her nails. Her hair was back to the long wavy mahogany style and she was dressed impeccably.

"Relax Buff, I'm not actually here so I can't hurt you or vice versa. I'm all spiritual and stuff"

"You're dead?"

"Nah, in a coma. There's been some weird stuff going on. A while back I had to make the choice about staying to help Angel and becoming part demon or getting the life of a celebrity, only the deal didn't come from who we thought it did and it seemed it was all a plan to get to Angel and I got shoved out of my own body. Nice right?"

"Jesus Cordy, I'm sorry"

Cordy shrugged. "Not your fault. I'm happy now, I have Doyle here with me too and I get to come deliver kick-ass messages like this"

"What message?"

"Duh! I already told you. It. Wasn't. A. Dream. Thought slayers were supposed to be smart?"

"You may be all spiritual but I bet I'm smart enough to still find a way to kick your ass"

"Just for that, I'm not going to tell you the rest. I'll let you figure it out for yourself. If you have a look in that book just by you, you'll find an address and some instructions. I'll let you find out the rest on your own. Oh and a little heads up, take one of Angel's little knick knacks as a gift. Trust me" With that Cordy waved and disappeared.

Buffy flicked through the book until she found a scrap of paper inside. Picking it up she quickly read it.

"The post office?"

* * *

_**A/N OK ok not my best I know but you guys have been waiting aaagggeeesss so I though I better crack on and get this story done. Only now I**__**'ve gone and added another damn chapter lol…..ooops. Sorry. Anyway, drop a review and let me know if you want me to finish and what you think might happen and what's going on? Thanks, Vix xxx**_


	4. Chapter 4

Buffy held the small ornate dagger in her hand defensively as she stepped through the doorway. Brilliant white light blinded her momentarily, despite shielding her eyes. She had followed the instructions from the book exactly and had 'borrowed' one of Angel's decorative daggers. She had warred between waiting for Angel or Wes to go with her but her curiosity had won out. Besides she was the slayer and had been taking care of herself all this time, right?

"Ah champion, we have been expecting you". Buffy blinked her eyes open to look at the source of the strong yet light voice. Two beings were in front of her, their brilliant blue, decorated skin covered in rich gold robes. The more feminine one had spoken, her head tilted as if analysing. The male seemed bored yet intimidating and Buffy stood up a little taller.

"Well that's a little freaky considering I haven't got a clue who you are or why I'm here".

"You know more than you think young one, you must believe in what you feel" The two beings spoke alternately, still keeping their unblinking eyes on Buffy.

"Well right now I'm feeling wigged out and pissed off so you guys better start talking or-"

"Enough! Such insolence will not be tolerated here!" The male being spoke with a cold tone, the hard edge of his voice, echoing off the empty space.

"Be calm Brother. This one is strong and holds such passion. It is why she is still standing here today. Why she still loves him"

"Your romantic notion is foolish at best Sister. We should not be helping these mere beings with these matters".

Buffy clenched her fist before waving her arm. "Mere being? Funny, a minute ago you were calling me a champion. Look I've had a really rough time and I just want some answers, Cordelia obviously sent me here for a reason so shall we get on with it and I can leave you guys to sort out your sibling rivalry?"

The brother looked pointedly at Buffy then turned away. His sister merely suppressed a smirk and glided forward a step. "What have you bought me?"

Before Buffy could react, the dagger flew out of her clenched fist, across the room. The Sister twisted and turned it in her delicate hands. "Exquisite. A beautiful yet deadly weapon". The Sister trained her gaze back on Buffy. "Appropriate, considering it's bringer".

"Who are you people?" Buffy didn't sense danger or demon yet her senses were tingling with the power in the room.

"We are the Oracles. We provide a link if you will, to the Powers that Be"

"The powers that be what?" Buffy asked.

"You are smarter than this champion yet you pretend to be otherwise. I will not tolerate that. Either be truthful and forthcoming with your words or leave us. I maybe more lenient than my brother concerning matters of the heart but I will not suffer glib meaningful comments" The Sister's voice now had the same hard edge to it that made Buffy swallow nervously and hold back her pride.

"Ok. I'm sorry. Cordelia told me 'it wasn't a dream' after I had just dreamt about Angel turning human and spending the day with me. In my dream he gave back his humanity to- OH! To you! The Oracles. I swore I wouldn't forget and then I woke up and she sent me to you".

"You did not hold the power to keep that promise so do not feel guilt over something you could not control" The Sister spoke softly now, waiting for the moment Buffy would realise.

"I don't feel guilty it was just a dream…Oh. It wasn't was it. What I dreamt. That whole day happened? He was human? Angel was human? We spent the whole day together and you took it back! You took it from him and you took him from me!" Buffy's voice had began shaking but her anger wanted to burst through.

"_He_ gave it back" The Brother had rejoined the conversation but did not care to elaborate.

"He gave it back? Why? Why would he do that? All he wants is his redemption, to be human again! Why would you do what he said?"

"He is a champion for our side, he plays an important role and we gave him the chance to keep it and stay with you. He didn't want it" The Brother chose his words carefully and silently warned his Sister to stay quiet.

"He didn't want it? Or he didn't want me? He didn't want to be with me so much he gave up his humanity?" Tears were freely falling down Buffy's cheeks as images from that day played on repeat in her head.

"See Sister. So quick to doubt him. So quick to feel as if she is not enough".

"Enough Brother. She is still young and after everything you can not expect much else. We have been told to right a wrong or the consequences will be severe" The sister looked to Buffy. "He gave it up for you Champion".

"For me? FOR ME? The only thing I have ever wanted in this entire world is him and he gave it up FOR me? I go out and risk my life fighting YOUR fight everyday asking for nothing except him and you have done everything in your power to keep us apart and ended up with both of us working for you! I must admit, I almost want to applaud you. Did you actually think that I would be the same without him though? It's got to the point where I don't care so perhaps you guys had better start looking for a new champion"

"He knew to stay that way would be to shorten your life span dramatically. He gave it up to save you. Now you have just heard that we must right our wrong. It is trivial for us to think that matters concerning love should effect you to such an extent and it was believed more efficient to have you two separated. Evidently we were wrong and we look to correct the mistake and allow you to be together." The brother stated, expecting the emotional reaction from Buffy.

Buffy counted to ten. Twice. "Allow us? _Allow_ us? So because suddenly we aren't putting up quite as good a fight? Mere human feelings getting in the way. You just decide who can and cannot do things and that's not right dammit. You played us like damn chess pieces! We have rights you know, we didn't choose what happened to us but we have damn well fought for you and paid our dues! Now here's a new angle your bosses can make a decision over. I quit". Buffy turned to storm away when she found herself frozen in place, unable to move. "What the hell? Now you're using some mojo magic to stop me moving? Aren't you done playing god?"

"You may wish to be aware of everything before you make such decisions little one. I expected such anger, admire its strength even but it will not help you". The sister spoke, choosing her words carefully.

"You have visions of grandeur about yourself if you think that you're feelings are at the forefront of what we and the Power's have to deal with. You can not even comprehend the extent of what lies under their care, protection and control. What decisions must be made".

"There you go again with that control business! Even now I am frozen in place! What is with you people? Do I know everything now? That's it right? 'Coz I'm tired. I'm tired of not being in control of _anything_ so please just tell me what you want . You want me to be honest? Fine, I could no more stop protecting innocents than I could stop breathing. It's a part of me but that doesn't mean I want my life written for me. I am an adult and I've been through my fair share that I think I've earned the respect back that you demand from me".

The Brother regarded her silently for a minute. The Sister smirked when she felt the show of admiration coming from her brother, then turned to Buffy. "Champion, something was taken from you when we reversed the day. We are powerful beings, we manipulated life but we cannot remove or take life in that manner. There was things even we could not prevent or change from the day that was returned and we are here to offer you a deal when both parties are present".

At that second A brief flash swept the room as Angel appeared with a stubborn expression on his face,

His eyes glued to the oracles. "I need to know if she's going to be okay this time!" He demanded quickly, then starting as he saw Buffy frozen beside him. "Buffy! What are you doing here? How did you-? I mean, wait what have you done to her?"

Buffy was released straight away and flew into Angel's arms. "They haven't done anything, Cordy's spirit sent me here from answers. Answers I'm going to want from you later! You were human Angel! Human! And you gave it up and had to remember all on your own! It must have killed you inside and you never said a word and I _promised _ I wouldn't forget". Slow tears dragged down her cheeks as Angel pulled her in tight whispering his apologies.

The Brother turned to his Sister and raised his brow, _forgave him a lot easier than she forgave us_.

"Champions. Our time is running short and we have much to discuss. Buffy as we just explained, that day we returned to you, something was created that we did not have the power to prevent or return. At the time we did what we thought would be the best solution, now however we recognise there may need to be a change. The substitute shell we used was a last resort and a poor choice but she was the only explainable one. We let things fall where they did until it reached this point. This is not how things should be and we look to offer you a deal".

As they were talking Buffy was reliving her new memories of that day over and over trying to search for what significant even had happened that had to be dealt with and what had happened since that needed changing. He brain worked quickly through the forgotten day, her return to Sunnydale, Angel and Cordy, Riley, Conner…

"No" It came out as a mere whisper as Buffy's hands shot to her stomach.

"I told you you were clever champion. Yes, the time that day was taken back but the life that was created was not" The Sister spoke clearly, aware they had walked a fine line between the information they had provided the warriors.

"Wait what? Me and Buffy got pregnant that day?" Angel was stupefied, his brain working fast to catch up. "Conner! Conner is Buffy's son? You put him in Darla didn't you! Made him think Darla was his mother! Ruined everything! Angel pulled the silently crying Buffy back to him. "I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry, I didn't know".

The Oracles left Angel and Buffy to talk quietly between themselves as they regarded each other. _We must take their memories if they make that decision Sister. They cannot give up the fight or show us discontent. It is the best way._

_You are wrong Brother. The memories will provide the key information and give them fuel to fight. You shall see._

"Champions. We are aware of what has happened and would like to offer you a chance to change things. We will take you back to that day once again. You shall start as things should have continued then".

"Who is to say things won't happen exactly the same way! I can't fight or protect people as a human and I won't put people at risk. There is a condition, you won't lose a fighter so start talking" Angel was torn inside, the opportunity to go back and actually get to keep Buffy was overwhelming. Finally the off feeling he had about Conner slipped into place and he felt euphoric.

"You will remember this life and what has happened so the same mistakes will not be made. Your rigid belief that you deserve nothing suited us Warrior, you never researched the Mohra and found other possibilities. The mohra blood was restorative in it's power. You would have regained your strength within a few days".

Angel gripped his fists and tried to reign in his anger as her looked over at Buffy. Her nerves were tight and she was staring into space. "Baby?"

Buffy was replaying every moment she had spent with Conner. With her _son_. She had presumed the pull she felt towards him was because he was Angel's son. Now she recognised it for what it was and she ached to hold him. Turning to Angel she looked at him, almost as if they were having a silent conversation.

"Do it. I want my son. I will fight till the day I die to protect him so therefore the world. I will work alongside the Power's, not for them like a pawn. You can send Cordy, Whistler or Doyle when we need a message or information. Never manipulate me or my family again or the big bad's so far will seem like a walk in the park. I love Angel more than myself and we stay together. You keep him strong and without any fucking gypsy's around and we'll play your game. You just take us back and you give me my son!"

Angel's heart swelled at his mate. He had never loved her more than at that moment. He knew things between them needed fixing but no matter what they would be together. He could start again with Conner and they would be a family. His eyes welled at the possibility of deserving anything like this. "I love you Buffy, if you're sure this is what you want, I'll be the happiest man in the world- and safe to be so!"

"I love you Angel, I never stopped. We agree to your deal, do you agree to out terms?"

"We do champions. Enjoy your second chance" The Sister spoke with a warm voice and flicked her wrist just as her Brother spoke.

"Third chance"

…...

Taking a minute to adjust Buffy looked at the apartment surrounding her as they were transported back to _that_ day. "Wow. That was fast". Buffy let her head rest on Angel's naked torso searching for that reassuring beat of his heart to prove it was all real. Her own heart clenched when she heard it.

"Buffy, I-"

"NO Angel. Look, we can talk later. I'm tired or apologising and fighting over things we can't change. We love each other, we have each other and we're together. We've got more important things to worry about" Buffy finished with a smile, her hands going back to her stomach.

The brightest smile graced Angel's face as his bag hands engulfed her own. He felt the weight of the world lift from his shoulders as the opportunity they had finally dawned on him. He was human, with the love of his life and had the future ahead of them. He buried his face in Buffy's neck, surrounding himself in her as the emotions overtook him. "I'll never leave you again I swear to you. You are my life and you have saved me so many times I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore. I'll cherish you everyday and make sure to do everything right."

Buffy wrapped her arms round him, soothing his slight sobs. "I'm sure we'll fall out occasionally Baby but I'll look forward to the make-up sex."

Angel managed a low growl with his human form "Baby it's not just the make up sex you should look forward to. They couldn't have bought us back ten minutes earlier!" Angel finished with a smirk.

"That's true. Out of all the time they could have picked, why now?"

"Unless, this is what they couldn't change"

"You mean, we just made a baby?" Buffy's smile was so brilliant that Angel had to take a deep breath. Her golden hair was falling round her shoulders, her skin glowing with excitement and the sparkle he had so long been missing was back in her beautiful eyes. Almost instantaneously his body reacted and he rolled them over, holding himself up on his elbows.

"Well maybe we should just make sure". He dropped his head, their lips barely touching. With a nervous lick of his lips he closed the distance pouring all the love he felt for the woman in his arms to the kiss.

Buffy's heart sped up as Angel deepened the kiss, seeking entry into her mouth. Parting her lips on a moan she granted him access, their tongues erotically sliding over each other, rediscovering each other. She slid her arms down the taught muscles of his back and spread her legs so he fit perfectly between them, bringing their bodies together.

A sudden need swept through Angel as he felt Buffy's tongue against his own and her body against his. He remembered their time apart and needed to reassure himself that she was his.

"Buffy, I love you but I can't make this slow baby. It's been too long and I need you".

"I need you too baby. I need to feel you inside me, we have a lifetime for slow. Right now, I just need you to fuck me"

Angel's eyes blazed as his almost painfully hard cock nudged against Buffy's slick entrance. "Oh Baby, you shouldn't have said that. Slow next time. But now, you're mine". He stroked his hand down her firm thigh to grip the back of her knee, bringing it up to his hip and spreading her wider beneath him. With a firm thrust he buried himself deep inside her wet heat, moaning loudly as he felt her clamp around him. "So tight".

"Angel, you feel so good. So big inside me baby".

Angel drove into her again and again as she raised her hips to meet his thrusts, skin meeting skin. Her nails dug into his back as he moved up on his knees, gripping her hips and driving deep hitting that sweet spot inside her.

"Yes! Fuck Angel right there Baby! Oh don't stop" Buffy bit her lip to keep from screaming as she felt him fill her hard and firm. "Faster Baby, I want all of you".

Angel moaned her name and angled his hips so he could bring his hand between them to flick his finger over Buffy's bundle of nerves. Pressing against her clit as he pushed in deep. "You're so wet Buffy. So wet for me Baby".

"Only for you Baby"

"That's right Buffy. You're mine" An almost irrational need overtook him as he felt Buffy clench tighter around him and his own release approaching. His need to possess her was almost unbearable as his hips moved faster, burying her into the mattress. "Who does this belong to Buffy? Who are you wet for? Whose are you?"

"Yours Angel, I'm yours! Yes, right there. I'm so close Baby, come with me. I want to feel you come inside me".

Angel's eyes crossed as he listened to her words, with another press against her clit Buffy's muscles clamped down on him as she screamed his name, milking his release. "Mine!" Angel growled as he thrust twice more, emptying himself deep inside her with some erratic thrusts before collapsing over her, still joined, burying his head into her neck.

Buffy ran her hands over his back again, pressing kisses to his head. "I love you"

Angel shifted and hissed as he slipped out of her. "I love you more than life itself. We'll get it right this time".

"We will".

…

_6 months later_

"Angel! Come on! Mom has already rung three times and Willow has threatened to make us sleep separately until the wedding if we're late. I want to beat the traffic out of L.A. And I need to stop Spike from corrupting my baby sister!" Buffy shifted her heavy bag from one hand to the other as Angel finally emerged from their bathroom. "You would think that after 6 months of having a reflection again the novelty would have worn off". He smirked then saw her with the bag and frowned, immediately taking it off her.

"You shouldn't be carrying that. Come on Baby, we'll be late. It's not my fault your fiance is so good looking!" He gave her a quick kiss and lovingly stroked her stomach before whistling as he walked out the door to the car. Buffy rolled her eyes and manoeuvred her protruding 6 month pregnant stomach out the door before locking it.

"The oracles could have warned us that your humanity also came with your ego" Buffy grumbled as she gingerly stuffed herself into the car.

"Ah Baby, you know you love me. Let's go, there is no way the witch is keeping me from your bed!"

"Yeh yeh, lets get to Sunnydale and we'll see how brave you are with the gang".

"Your wish is my command my wife". Angel pulled her hand to him across the divide and kissed her palm.

"Not yet. You hear that Conner? You ignore your Daddy and his self-assured ways"

"Baby, nothing can bring me down right now. I have the love of my life, she is growing and protecting out beautiful baby boy and we are on our way to meet up with all of our family and friends to get married and start the rest of our lives together. We saved the world again yesterday and have a few days off. You don't know how long I've wanted this and believed I would never get it. I owe it all to you and I'll love you until the last star stops shining"

Buffy stroked her belly lightly. "Ok, maybe taking after your Daddy wouldn't be so bad. Good job that pesky curse has gone hey Baby! Maybe we should send the Oracles a fruit basket?"

**A/N Ok guys! This is finally finished! I know there was delays and I apologise immensely! But as usual things come up, but you all know I would NEVER leave a fic hanging! OCD tendancies wouldn****'t let me! I know it was quite a quick ending but if you remember me saying at the start, this was only meant to be a one or two shot lol and there was no way this was going to become a massive fic like my other one! So our fave couple got their HEA and you guys even got a little lemon hehe, couldn't resist! So review if you can, I'll get my ass to start thinking up the next fic!**

**Thanks for reading xx**


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